A close friend

When you feel a connection with a person you see. What could it be? You think about it and wonder. What is it? Time passes by and you become aquainted. You have things in common. You suddenly become very good friends. You tell each other everything. No holding back, broken chains. Promises made to one another. Homies for life. Bullshit, all lies. Fell out through the phases of time. Going different directions. But one of them tried to keep the friendship alive. The other ignored, and just kept it moving. What can you do? But follow their footsteps. But in the opposite direction. We weren't the best. But I considered us, very close friends...

Rising

Something is rising out of me. I don't know what it is. Could it be, the heat your causing. Your whole body is taunting. Controlling me. Devouring. How many times have you haunted me? My dreams become invaded by your face. I don't feel your pressence, but my old feelings are rising.

Rekindle

Rekindling the flame, when you said my name. Calling me yesterday. Is the best thing you've done lately. Now, don't be ashamed of expressing your feelings babe. I'm here to listen, and to show you that I care the same. For you. You should rekindle, what we had. We should rekindle, what we had back then. I hear your voice, there's some hidden joy. But even I can tell, because I'm the best at detecting emotions. Your pride doesn't fool me. It actually never has. Trying to put up an act. It was a thing of the past. Let's not rekindle that. Just all the times of passion. Desire you more than ever. Leave you behind, i'll never. Rekindle.

Karma

I used to love you dearly. Waited for you call daily. Expecting your affection. Instead I get neglected. Appreciation was showed once in a blue moon. I no longer feel the same way about you. I met this other guy. Who claims he want's to treat me right. Want's to be part of my life. To not be scared and open up. That's the same thing I used to tell you. Can't believe Karma worked this way. But it was supposed to be your turn to pay. That's just the way it works I guess. But i'll never settle for less. I'll let you both go because I deserve more. Not like it was before. Karma won't make me feel hurt.

Dark Realm

Property of the creatures that dwell at night. Eyes wide open, but silent and waiting. Don't get too close, they attack without remorse. Emotion and thoughts well hidden. Mysteriously driven by the source of life. Which they're also a little afraid of. They prefer darkness over light. Chosing the moon over the sun. Cold instead of heat. Dark realm is not a place, it's a personality. The outer layer of those who are truly deep, but seem simple. Beware the silence. Mystery is more interesting than what's obvious.

Soul Surivor Book of Poems

Soul Survivor is my new book of poems. Theese new installment of poems will be a little bit more about the situations that i'm going through right now. It's not all about heartbreak and love. More about my friendships that are ending, my family situation and the emptiness I am feeling inside.

Soul Survivor

Got the feeling that I'm bout to be so Brand New... gotta live my life, happily without you. Passion's inside of me, ignites the fire, to let it burn. The rain will cool it down, when I'm ready to let you go, even though I... miss you so... much, living without your touch. It's never too much, but it is without your love. How will I survive without you? My soul won't go on, it's becoming hard to breath. Soul Surviving when I'm becoming empty...

Farewell

Secrecy, all the secrets you keep. Hidden inside your own little personal Pandora's box. The last thing to escape, or maybe it won't. Would be the love you have for me. The world's eyes will water. Glistening with shimmers of tears. The moon will watch as she will influence my intensity. The Sun will blaze upon his heat igniting your soul. Write down your thoughts, put them in a box, and let them float away at Sea. Watch it, think of it as us separating, forever. Or will it be eternally?

I am... AFRICA

Like a puzzle. Figure me out. You have to go through the jungle to find the gem. A rare antique. Hard to discover. Difficult to maintain. Never confuse my still composure with weakness. Still water are the most dangerous, because you don't know what's lurking deep inside. Looking at me, wondering what I think. What secrets do I keep? I feel like one of god's relics. A force in my own right. I can be as fierce as a lion or as peaceful as a dove. You pick and chose. I'm on the right side. I am mama AFRICA. Hear my CRY!

Give it or go

You've tolled me how u felt. You said that, it was never fake. I loved to say ur name. I love to hear u voice babe. Since the very first day. I fell head over heelz for u. Aint' gonna deny. I tolled myself I loved u. So stay, with me. Don't delay, to tell me how u really feel. It's in you, don't hesitate to tell me everything. Open up, please don't hold back, anymore. We have so much potential. If you want, we can take it slow. But please dont go. If you leave me alone. You will take away, my heart and soul. Give it or go.

Rain & Sunshine

Get the umbrella for this cold weather. In the middle of July, heat is supposed to be blazing. But like my emotions shift it's ever changing. My feelings for you. They don't phase you. If they do. It doesn't change it. Fact is your unreachable. Unmovable and I can't see you. We can't even be friends because it's still the same. I proved myself time and time again. Stronger than you thought when you took me in vain. When will there be sunshine? Because all I see is rain...

Summer Cold

You ain't here, so who's supposed to keep me warm? Lighten my days, heat up my nights. Nobody but you. It was your choice to move. When I gave it all to you. That was all I ever had. Wasted my time on trying to make you love me. Be with me, no chains. Live for me, no games. I loved, no I still love to say your name. This cold has taken over for the third summer in a row. When will my heart say never, no more?

Electric Current

Hearing you voice again. It's been 9 months. You light up starts in my interior. Sending sparks to my heart. You cause my soul to become heavy. Causing a fire, everything inside me wants to burst out. The pain is sweet. But when you lift me up in those rare moments. I fall into abyss when you become busy. Entangled with someone or something, other that one who still has infinite love for you. Me, the one who still wants to be with you despite the time, lies, misunderstandings and distance. None of that made my pride or ego stronger. I still love you, it's not as strong as it was. But I proved to myself it's still ther. All you have to do is play your part. Electrify me. My currents are waiting. My patience is running.

Drip...Drop...

I hear the rain outside my window, the weather turns into my mood. I'm mostly misunderstood, looked up on as either weak or too strong for my own good. I don't have time to express myself to others who I don't know. I usually let them think what they want. Who else can I be? The real me? Never shown to strangers, that just the way it is. I have to be protected, that's just how I feel. Drip... drop... still waters run deep. Who else will know that? Other than me? Now I try to let go of all that misery. The one caused by the lover who remains untrue to me. Decieved by his looks and the memories. Stuck up in my head they don't belong there like my brain cells. Tryin to live somewhere I consider hell, but knowing deep inside that there will always be worser times than this. This is nothing compared to what might be in my future. Hopefully it will be all good, but who am I to chose it? Drip... Drop... still waters run deep. An uncanny definition of the dreamer yet realist L.A.C.

L.L.:Decieving

Decieving, you are the reason that, I don't believe in finding the love that I need. Drizzy Drake said this, I belive in it aswell. The emotions you keep in, and the secrets you won't tell. I might as well let you be. All you do is hurt me. I do nothing but frustrate you. One day i'll say I hate u. Instead of loving u like ur da only person on earth. I was never the type of person that u even deserved. My aura is more divine then yours. My honesty is cherished. My silence may be golden, but ur pressence isn't welcoming. Instead of ignoring me when I call you, txt you, or send u a myspace msg. Tell me wat's really good, that will make u more real and true. Instead of the arrogant and sneaky cat I say u are. I rather be alone then with you, stop decieving me like u have by far...

New Armor

I have New Armor. I wont let nobody break me apart. These eyes have seen more hardships. Felt more pain in my heart. War in love. Hell in soul. Battles with more fire then a burning inferno. Powerful emotions that move you like tides of an ocean. Im good. Protected by my new shiny armor. My heart, has created a steel spine.

Untrue

Everytime I try to be there for you, you shut the door to your heart in my face. The all I give is mediocer to you. Thats how you make me feel. Got to be crazy in love to be going through this again. But im not the one to put up pretences. Especially not with you. Even when you remain untrue.

Wakeup Call???

You're not a political person, Luis . You probably don't have much patience for game playing and forming alliances in order to get ahead. You like to focus on your responsibilities, be a good, honest citizen, and go home at the end of the day. But you might find it would be to your advantage to be just a bit more charming and crafty. You could be passing up golden opportunities by adopting a too passive outlook. It might be to your advantage to present a stronger image to your entourage.

This has been one of the most accurate horoscopes I've had to date. Today I have a job fair at my school. I was planning to go but, I did not have dress up shoes. So I wasent going to do it looking all jacked up and what not, LOL. Honestly I'm also not a "networking" type of person. I don't like to small talk or mingle with people who I don't know. It makes me uncomfortable especially if I am by myself. I guess now more then ever; I can say that I truly am shy. But I just can't seem to get to my comfort zone around complete strangers. If I stay silent I can do it, but if I have to speak and prove myself. It ain't gonna happen. That's just the way I am. But I guess I do have to learn how to be political, and speak my mind to people I don't know. It's going to take a while, but sonner or later i'm going to have to do it. If I want to suceed in life. But at the same time, I feel like people do underestimate me ALOT! Because of the way I look or act. I rarely smile to people I don't know, my face is usually composed. People might say I have a dry personality. I'm very misunderstood. Only those who are close to me know the REAL, me. Sometimes I feel like they don't even know the real me. I and God only know the real me. I am definately like a volcano inside a lake or mass of water. Still waters run deep, something is seething under surface. Don't judge a book by it's cover. That all describes me. One day, my ice walls will break down, everybody will meet ME! Luis Andres Cecilio.

Sentimental Mentality

It's been hard for me, to let you be with someone else. To live my life and just forget. To let you go i've been repressing. Holding on to old feelings. Captivated by the memories. Still deep in my conscious. I tried my best to let it go. Not tryna let the fire burn me. Destroy everything that's in my soul. When did I lose my self control? Put back the wall of pride, in front of my heart. Act like I don't care, put a up a big front. Let me be cold, release all the hurt. You've lost all my trust. Now I'm back at one. Feeling alone, like never before. Nevertheless I'm a survivor, from this I will grow.But will I ever move on? My mentality has always been sentimental. I will change when I can. Otherwise let me be the person that I am.

Changes

It's time for something new. I've had enough of being around the same energy. I'm over striving for attention and affection. I'm done with beign the one who consoles, conceals, listens, and shut's down. I wish I could bring out that interior fire, that burns forever like an inferno in my soul. I want to shine, be outspoken and unapolagetic for anything I do or say. I'm not transparent. My silence is golden like my heart. Changes are soon to come.

Apology

You finally apoligized. Maybe that's all I ever needed to move on. I would of liked to hear you say it better. Other than seeing it on instant message. Lonliness was a part of my life, that you never destroyed. It remained untouchable. The love you claimed you had for me, was never enough to bring light into my dark ages. I don't have much left to say. Other than I hope this is the last time, we speak about our previous situtation. I don't want to feel what I felt. You no longer have to be my sun. Let darkness reign. I want it all to be over. No apology.

Time

Evidentially I'm not good enough to hear from you again. I lost my train of though whenever I saw your face online. I've missed you, but that wasen't or isn't I should say, good enough, is it? I rather be with you, instead of beign alone. Feeling angry. Dealing with pain everyday. Holding back tears. Trying to be strong, hold my ground. This black and solid concrete thats cracking. The foundation I tried to build was abomished, deteriarated. Nothing left to create. She took it because you gave it to her. Let her have it when I worked harder. Nothing but a minor mishap in my way. Happiness is all I ever wanted. Time away from you isn't. Time to forget you. Time to move on. Time to rebuild. Time to love again. Time to rejuvinate. Time to surface from this black water of misery. You asked for time, I gave it to you.... What else did you want?

Blue Hour

We only have a little time, let's not waste it. I really want to cherish every moment we spend. Together we should remain. It feels right, the way we are, our interaction brings a special feeling. Intensity to the ultimate level. Burning inside with passion that only you can create. Touching your smooth caramel skin lightly and gently. Hesitating a little because I never experienced such electricy on my fingertips. My mouth waters, tingling, wanting to taste you. Then I do, naturally.... time passes by.... and it's over.... I'm down.... mad because blue hour is done, and it wasen't as innocent as I though....

Sun and Moon

Going in opposite directions. Youre too hot for me to handle, and i'm too cold for you too bare. Always running away from each other. Two extremes that can never be together. Only meeting momentarily at twilight. Our time of the day. In this story, I the moon, chase you, the sun. Which I shouldn't be doing. It should be you doing the pursuing. I have the inner beauty, the marvelous essence, and the power of raw emotion. You have the never ending heat, the impecable strength, the power of creativity. Both grand, both attention grabbing in different ways. I, laid back, serene. You, stand-offish, bold. I will always love you, and I will always chase you. That's just the way it is.... It's meant to be.... as the story goes....

Valentine

Last valentine's day. I left you a message. You returned the call too late. You were too bitter for my taste. Your mood was not something I wanted to feel. I couldn't deal with your indifference. Especially not on a day like that . The day of love and friendship. I recieved neither. What a waste. Throw it in the garbage. It was toxic. I dread the definiton of that day. Cupid is not a friend of mine. Constantly making me unhappy. Never again, stop the nonsense. Because my senses are blind. My valentine died. Now this day is empty. Just like my heart. Oh, valentine, thou shall not fogive. Thou shall forget....

Forbidden Memories

I miss the sound of your voice. All the times you spoke to me on the phone. But alone I always felt. Even when you paid attention. It was never enough. That's why I wanted more. Always Feining the taste of your lips on mine. Wishing that our hands were entertwined all the time. Nothing but fantasies, a couple of kisses on that day in N.Y. Not even worth calling them that. I know for a fact that I am still in love with you. But everyday its getting a little bit easier. Your memory is becoming distant like the sun. But just like it, your fire is strong enough to warm me, and I notice that your still in my life somehow. Becoming something that will always be here. I'm not going to let the love I have for you destroy what I am trying to build. I will rise above like a phoenix I proclaim myself. Memories of you shall be forbidden.

Release

Literally I lived my life for you. Now I gotta live this life for me. Time to let go, time to release. The pain you caused. Changed me and I lost. Everything I tried to gain for loving you. All the things I wished upon, I never got. Had me in a daze, I was so love-crazed. No I gotta let go, time to release. Never let you come back, trying to be with me. Can I be happy without you? I just have to, even though my heart doesn't want to. Let me live, let me breath. Memories please, erase finally. Pain turn into empowerment. Bitterness turn into happiness. Let.... let me be.... alone.... because I don't wanna hold on.... forever.... No more.

Breath

I'm trying to exhale the pain. Inhale control. Power to get over this. Clarity in my mind, healing in my soul. I'm not far from forgeting. I'm real far from letting go. How can that be? Forgeting what you did to me. Letting you go. Easier said then done. The battle's just begun. An ultimate struggle. I never knew how much I could love you. Fallen head over heels. Suffocating from the smoke of the fire.

Exhaustion

I'm sick of my dreams beign revolved around you. I can't stand you invading my privacy. Your memory linked to my intimicay. You lost your position the day you comitted the crime. Lies and deciet don't make what was you and I. Right, but it was always wrong. What I felt should of been strong enough to hold you down. All of me wasen't enough. You turned to someone else. I can't understand my feelings towards you. Confusion lingers in my mind. Time and emotions wasted, I never thought i'll be tested. But I was, a trial under fire. Never took anything higher, destroyed everything I wanted. You, that was always it, always the problem. Leading to my eternal exhaustion.

Speak

Maybe I should've never said anything. Hold it in, hold back. Like you always do to me. What should you get from me? Nothing. What do I get from you? Silence. A void, negative space. Leaving everything empty. A mystery I always tried to guess. You seemed interested yesterday, but today your distant like a star. Unreachable. Save the games for someone who wants to play. It will never be me. Lost of words you remain. Just speak.

Dear Caramelo

Where? Why? 2 main questions that stay here. In the mind of a soul untamned. A heart that loved you sincerely, without a doubt. Real I remain, always. My dear caramelo. Sweet then bitter. Putting on a show. Then became a quitter. Never a full on giver. No devotion to the one who cherished you all along. Revive what you killed. Time won't heal, all I ever wanted was you.

Book of poems: Beautiful Nightmare

Beautiful Nightmare is the tittle of the recent post of poems. It's the name of the book of poems i'm creating. The tittle of this book means to me as having a life that's like a repetitive bad dream. Beign appreciative of what you have. But not beign truly of fully satisfied with it. That's how I feel about my life. I need change quick.... It also represents the relationship I had with my ex. He was a beautiful dream that sooned ,turned into the biggest nightmare in my life. A nightmare I can never seem to wake up from.

Ice Burn

Had enough of the aloofness? Am I too laid back for you? Does my serenity make you uncomfortable? I am what you see, no actually, it's just one side of me. A protective layer. My careful and still composure. My intense eyes watching you. My lips sealed. My thoughs in another galaxy. Treating you cold, like ice. Never doubt, that as soon as i'm provoked. I burn, like fire. Destroy your negativity and abrassiveness towards me. I'm like a calm storm. Silent but deadly. Never doubt anybody, espicially somebody like me. I may not be physically strong. But i'll use anything to take you down. Just like anybody's nature, when i'm attacked. I protect myself. Don't think because I stay quite, never really have much to say. That it makes me a weak link. Stronger hearts, minds, and souls, makes a much stronger individual. Let my ice burn.

Lost Moon

Orbiting around an empty space. My planet's been destroyed. I can no longer bring darkness for his night. My beautiful scenery won't be seen by him. I was to stand by his side. Always, for eternity. Never in a million years would I think of being separated from him. His pressence made me shine. Now i'm dark. I had the power to manipulate his emotions. Now my power over him is lost. Lost, like i've become. Ever since he's been gone.

Heart Vs. Mind

The other day I made a mistake. I spoke to you. I've been having dreams of you constantly. I ask myself why? I truly thought I was over you this time. But I guess it was just the surface. My subconscious won't let you go. Deep down I might sitll want to be with you. But my pride. Stress from work, and the circle of dullness and boredom that surrounds my life. Actually had me occupied from thinking about you. The dreams made it clear that I still have feelings for you. I don't want to. If you're over me, I should be over you. I would never be the one to be in love alone. But then again I always am. Solo's my middle name and misery is my last. I really wanted you in my life. I needed you in my life. You were the fire that kept me warm, alive. Now the cold of winter and my own emotions are freezing me to death. I personally dont want to be with you. I hate liars. But my heart still loves you. I don't know why? What does it see in you? You're nothing but a boy! You don't know what you really want. My heart is a fool. Blindly in love. I will change it's mind. Will power will suffice. Heart Vs. Mind, a fight to the finish.

4Eva Imperfect

I have many flaws to deal with. My physical upset's me sometimes. But I've come to learn to deal with it. This is what god gave me. I have to accept myself as I am. I have to make others, take me as I am. I can't put myself down on how I look. I just go to work what I got. The exterior can always be fixed. But the interior is a longer, and more fufilling process. My soul is beautiful. I wouldn't trade it for the world. I rather stay, forever imperfect.

The Daydream in N.Y.

Today the emotion of the day when we first chilled, hasn't been able to get off my chest. I wish I could erase it, forget about ur kiss. Kill it put it to bed. But I can't. After 2 years of tryna be with you. Having just one afternoon, I can't seem to get through. It just leaves me empty, and uncertain about where i'll end up. So heartbroken. I'll love to still be with you. I hate to be stuck on you. I wish you'll come over. I dread calling your phone.... it was nothing but a daydream in N.Y., N.Y., N.Y., N.Y., N.Y.,.